Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She said her name was "party"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
