she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
