Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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