i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
