the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
