Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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