I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
