No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
