Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
