i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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