I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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