Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
