If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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