is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
