His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
