Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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