At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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