that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
operation harelip BJ is a go
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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