butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
