just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
