Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
