Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
