The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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