I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
