you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
