this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
