If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
