Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
