Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
