i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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