There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
