There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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