yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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