Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We named our party play list daddy issues
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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