I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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