When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
