she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
