My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
