Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
