I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
