i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
