alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Randomize
