Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
