he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
