i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
