HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
