how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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