Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
