my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
