He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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