should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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