what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
