I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
